Those Whom Bullies Choose as Targets

The common stereotype of a bullied person is someone who is weak, weird, socially inept, a loner or not too bright. However, the target chosen by an adult bully will very often be a capable, dependable person, well liked by others. Bullies are most likely to pick on intelligent, competent people with an ability to cooperate with others. The bully considers their capability a threat, and decides to cut them down.

When the bully identifies a target, they go out of their way to make the person so uncomfortable that they leave the community. The bullies feel perfectly justified in doing so, believing that their target is weak if they can't take the abuse, and that they are in fact saving the community from their weakness by driving them out. Because bullies themselves feel weak and powerless they naturally sense strength and character in others, but rather than cultivating those qualities within themselves, they seek those who already possess them and try to destroy their self-confidence and reputation.

Targets of bullies can be anyone – sometimes people are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some personality types are more likely to become targets but this does not make it their fault. Targets can be:

	someone who is different from the bully because of their skin colour, sexual orientation, place of origin, or whose beliefs differ in a way that is offensive to the bully
	someone who is envied by the bully for their talent or popularity in the community
	perceived as competitor by a bully for dominance in the Pagan community
	a person with masochistic tendencies, or a "rescuing" personality can become a target because they seldom fight back when humiliated, and the bully gets a false sense of power from their dominance.
	a competent person. More than anything else, the bully fears exposure of his/her inadequacy and incompetence; a target's presence, popularity and competence may trigger that fear
	people with genuine and strong spiritual beliefs, as well as willing to put their money where their mouth is.
	someone with intelligence, imagination, creativity, and innovative thinking
	the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional
	the person who refuses to join an established clique, or otherwise shows independence of thought.
	honest and with a well-developed integrity which they're unwilling to compromise
	successful, tenacious, determined, courageous, having fortitude
	people with a good sense of humour, and able to laugh at themselves
	those able to master new skills, and a willingness to share knowledge and experience
	sensitive people who have a need to tackle and correct injustice wherever they see it
	someone who has high expectations of those in authority and a dislike of incompetent people in positions of power who abuse others
	those who have a strong sense of fair play and a desire to always be reasonable - reasonable and civilized behaviour is usually seen as a sign of weakness by a bully
	high coping skills under stress
	someone suffering from depression or low self esteem can attract the attention of a bully because they look like an easy target.

What Triggers an Attack by a Bully

Usually there is some event that will trigger an attack by a bully, although, as in my case, they might just have taken an irrational dislike to you from your first meeting. Some events that might set off a bully are:

	their previous target leaves the community, and the bully needs someone else to project their inadequacy onto
	becoming the focus of attention whereas before the bully was the centre of attention
	obvious displays of affection, respect or trust from others
	standing up for a friend who is being targeted or blowing the whistle on the bully to the community
	challenging the status quo, especially if set up by the bully
	gaining recognition for your achievements -- for example, winning a bardic competition or being publicly recognized for work you have done
	looking younger than the bully, especially if you are actually older than they are (or claim to be). This  phenomena is most common with female bullies who bully other females
	sometimes bullies will attack because they think you are vulnerable and thus less likely to fight back. Vulnerabilities that a bully might exploit include:

not having anyone to support you on a regular basis because you are single or live alone because you care - about your work, your family, and about people in general being scrupulously honest, reasonable, possessing a strong sense of fair play and having a well-developed sense of guilt having caring responsibilities at home, for example, an elderly relative, a child with special needs, or a disabled partner or family member experiencing separation, divorce, caring for a dying partner or relative or undergoing bereavement, or suffering grief during the mourning phase following bereavement having a great deal of locked-up anger resulting from bullying, harassment, domestic violence, stalking, abuse etc belonging to a different ethnic or cultural background than the bully having a different sexual orientation having a disability or perceived disability being female in a mostly male environment or male in a mostly female environment being too old or too young

the target of a bully becomes disempowered through isolation and exclusion, and the manipulation of others in the community

gossip intimidates the target and others, creating a climate of fear in which people are frightened to assert their rights

the target feels bewildered and often cannot believe what is happening. They often feel responsible in some way, as evidenced by the nagging thoughts "Why me?" or "Did I do something to offend them, that I can’t remember?" There is also great fear (sometimes justified) that no one will believe them if they complain about the bully's behaviour

some who experience this sort of thing have a horror of politics in spirituality, and so rather than take on the aggravation of trying fix the problem, they simply leave. This is not because they are afraid or have self-doubt, but rather that they don't want anything to do with such pettiness or the stupid people who allow this stuff to go unchallenged. They thus become solitary or leave Paganism altogether.  Unfortunately these people who don't need the community are often the people needed most by the community.

there is no law against social slander and the laws that do exist are difficult to apply

by this time the target is traumatized and unable to clearly explain their situation –– they merely sound paranoid whilst the bully remains glib and plausible

the silence is deafening, and denial is everywhere in the community

the target naively believes that people in the community will protect and try to help them, but the truth is that most people just don't care about bullying unless it's happening to themselves, or they simply won't admit that it happens

slander is a form of psychological rape because of its intrusive and violational nature